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Always Straight Ahead
by This Day & Age

"She has a fear of heights,
The way you feel when you're leaving on your first flight.
She's like a sinking stone, fading from the surface,
But we are never alone.
She's on a tightrope, losing balance,
Yet something's pulling her towards hope.
I want to run to her, but I've already played that card,
So I will fight the urge.

Eyes closed, fingers crossed;
Praying that she's not lost...
You'll never know what's around the bend.
"Avoid the unknown" is ringing in your head...

She has a fear of love,
Accepting everything but what she really dreamed of.
She keeps her heart locked; no she won't ever answer
Even though she hears a knock.
But love is at the door, and after all isn't that what we are here for?
I want to rescue her, but I've already tried,
For there is only one cure.

(She has a fear of heights,
The way you feel when you're leaving on your first flight)
While you rest inside your regret,
The sun rises and sets again...
You're in your way, that's why you'll always be the same."

*

Bio: Madeline Amelia Parker was born in secret to 16 year old Genevieve Parker and the 23 year old family gardener, Johnny. Genevieve's parents, Richard and Charlotte, upon finding out about the pregnancy, sent her to an exclusive hospital for the rich and powerful that was proven to have the strictest confidentiality measures. Johnny skipped town in order to escape statutory rape charges, and everyone was told that Genny was trying out a boarding school the family had attended for generations.

When the baby was born on August 22nd, 1986, Genny took one look at her and knew that she couldn't live without her. She told her parents that if they made her give the baby away, she'd tell all of their friends the true story and make them live with the embarrassment of it. So the Parkers came up with a new plan. They would say that the troubled gardener had left his baby at their doorstep, and that they had decided to adopt her, should he or the mother ever decide to come back for her. They would even forge a note about how Charlotte and Richard would be able to give her a better life.

Relieved, Genevieve asked to hold her baby for one of the last few times she'd get to hold her as her mother. She named her Madeline, after the nurse who'd held her hand and coached her through the rough delivery. Charlotte insisted that the baby's middle name be Amelia, after her own mother, since they were keeping her and all. And of course, her last name would be Parker, since they would be "adopting" her. No one would ever see the birth certificate and see Genevieve Kay Parker as the mother, or Johnathan Michael Winter listed as the father, signed only by Genny.

Charlotte and Richard brought the baby home a few days later and soon set off the scandal of the poor infant left at their doorstep to be raised by them. A judge, who was a family friend, expedited the adoption process, making them the legal parents of their own grandchild, unbeknownst to anyone in the town of Santa Monica, California. Genevieve was sent from recovery to a relative in the Florida Keys until the semester was over when she was allowed to return. By then, her baby was six months old and didn't recognize her.

The next few years were rocky for Genny. With her parents raising her child, and with Maddie, as she liked to call her, or 'Madness' sometimes, thinking of her as just an older sister, she slowly filtered down until she hit rock bottom. Partying with all of her debutante friends who had no idea her adorable little sister was actually her baby. She started drinking heavily and coming home so late that her parents banished her to the pool house to not have to deal with her antics anymore. Parties and drinking led to drugs and three miscarriages in a one year period when Madeline was only three years old.

Madeline, however, was living a charmed life with her grandparents who gave her everything to keep up the illusion of being the doting adoptive parents of the innocent child left behind to them.

And the tragedy struck, when Madeline was only seven years old. Her biological mother, Genevieve died of a heroin overdose at a friend's party in the Hollywood Hills at only 23 years old. Her grandparents were devastated, having barely survived the heartbreak of their illegitimate grandchild. They moved numbly through the motions of the next five years of her life before sending her off to boarding school as soon as she turned 12 where she remained until she was 18.

Boarding school was a rough experience for her. She came from money, but her grandparents had become so cold, they mostly just paid her tuition and kept her clothed. She didn't have a lot of extra money to spend, as they informed they were putting enough of it away so that once she graduated, she'd be taken care of and they'd never have to see her again or take care of her anymore. She reminded them too much of her mother. The child they lost, and the child who had disappointed them so much. She looked just like her, and was the product of her most costly indiscretion, next to the drugs.

She was very plain, and under dressed compared to most of the other girls around her who were socialites and the future rich and fabulous. Their parents were all someones; very important someones. And it was well known that she wasn't even from the money she was there on. She was widely teased for being the girl left on the Parker doorstep. The gardener's daughter. People looked right past her.

Eventually she graduated and took the trust fund she'd inherited from her mother and the get-out-of-our-lives money from her grandparents and found herself a condo in Santa Monica where she'd lived her whole life until she'd been sent to boarding school. Her grandparents had long since returned to Richard Parker's native Connecticut, to the family estate he'd inherited when his father died.

Over the summer the year after graduation, Madeline began to change a lot. She began to fit more perfectly into her skin, to the point she became practically unrecognizable. What was once so plain, was suddenly beautiful. And everyone around her was noticing. She did a few commercials, a few ads, a few small extra roles here and there before finally landing a key role on the daytime soap opera Mulholland Heights as Marisol de Luna, despite not being or speaking any Spanish.

It's an exciting step, but she hopes against all hope, that there's another one right in front of her leading up much higher.

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